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Yestermorrow

by Jim Higgins

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pole64
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pole64 Love this album. Tracks 1, 4 and of course ‘Gene Hackman’ are my favorites. I played Gene once for sister and she went around singing the chorus the rest of the day. ‘Hooray for Me’ is kinda haunting. Sounds like Stipe. Rest of the album ROCKS!!!
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1.
Can’t keep the here and now in my head So I wake up nostalgia Put tomorrow to bed Rewinding to the innocent start Watching over and over My favorite parts We were once Maybe once in a while But we had us a moment And I can’t help but smile Now it’s got me Drunk and weepy And wishing I was twenty-two again A full head of hair A flat stomach A muscle or two again Can’t keep a sober thought in my head ‘Cause there’s ninety-nine bottles Ninety-eight of them dead The old lemon, sold it off for a buck Now, the new car runs fine But I’m locked in the trunk And I’m still spinning Paper plates in the wind Trying to fend off adulthood And call it a win But it’s got me Drunk and weepy And wishing I was twenty-two again Drunk and weepy And crying out for my youth again Couldn’t find my way back home But what’s the fun in going to sleep It turns out that last wrong turn Left me forever lost in the streets Now I’m begging mercifully at your feet For a redo or three But I can’t go back And it’s got me…
2.
Last Breath 03:50
Barely a memory A distant memory at best Now you’re all I can see Now you’re the reason I can’t rest When I was wrong You came along and made it right But you get yours One useful idiot at a time And why I even care I’m still not quite aware Can’t make that circle square tonight But I can’t pretend anymore When every day I want you more and more You’ve taken the last breath from me There’s so much right here But you’re all I can see All I’ve been in the end A makeshift bandage on a sore Latest foul-weather friend Just one more late-night port in a storm When I was fine You came along and made it strange And yours is mine But we two fools can’t fight the change And why I even try You don’t care Why should I So cap it off This well’s run dry And I can’t pretend, play or guess When every day I want you less and less You’ve taken the last breath from me There’s so much right here But you’re all I can see You’re in my head You’re in my heart And on my mind You’re in my head From the outside From the inside And on all sides From the outside From the inside And on all sides
3.
Up Your Tree 03:01
All today An elegant blunder My nerves are frayed My head’s going under My feet won’t move My heart beats like thunder The short-term truce It’s over and done But it’s turning around Since I swallowed you down Those dogs can’t get to me Once I’m up your tree Once I’m up your tree All tonight A wide-awake nightmare A frozen mind A thousand-yard blank stare My feet glued down A head full of poison A dry land drown Fearful of noise But it’s turning around Since I swallowed you down 1,2,3,4… No more wolves scratching at my door This nightmare’s got no teeth Once I’m up your tree Once I’m up your tree Once I’m up your tree Once I’m up your tree But it’s turning around Since I swallowed you down 1,2,3,4… No more wolves scratching at my door Blue skies for miles ahead of me Once I’m up your tree Once I’m up your tree Once I’m up your tree Once I’m up your tree
4.
I have no friends My life has kept a leash on me Since way back when I’ve never known camaraderie Unless you count the countless times I withdraw to a place Where I get everything right That’s when I shine That’s where the world is all mine When I pretend Hooray for me I’m terrified Why do they point and laugh at me Since time alive I’ve been the butt of every Joke and insult in the book But they just can’t see What it is that I’m capable of I’ve won awards I’ve been adored by millions When I pretend Hooray for me When will it end When will the time come when they say Remember when We’d rather hurt you than be friends I’m gonna keep my fingers crossed For a time when I look back And laugh at my childhood lost I’ll win awards I’ll be adored by a million fans Until then Hooray for me
5.
In a graveyard Upon a headstone The one true epitaph I’ve seen It said: Here lies a waste of time A picture-perfect could-have-been Like it was pointing at me I draw the curtains And break the mirrors And take my seat in the last row I close my eyes, bury my head The more I hide, the less I know But I’m still respirating What is real Won’t break bread With a mind lost in make-believe And so life goes on Behind my happy wall Upon a mantle An urn of ashes A life reduced to useless dust A good reminder To keep those blinders The less I hide, the more I rust The blissful ignorance works Works just fine In the grand plan Of keeping the wolves at bay ‘Cause my mind Won’t make peace With the real and the fantasy And my time here Just ebbs and falls But life’s just grand Behind my happy wall
6.
Still remember the night we met When I took you out at the knees You just laughed and introduced yourself I fell head over my heels By the end of that evening I’m a man who’d been reborn But we became a yesterday Before tomorrow’s dawn Oh Jenna why Can’t we devise A plan to close the distance Between you and I Long road to a cul-de-sac But I’m driving there all the same Never met a brick wall I couldn’t bash my head against My trembling hand is on the phone But I can’t dial Just gotta content myself With the memory of your smile Oh Jenna why Can’t we devise A plan to close the distance Between you and I Oh Jenna what If we could find A way to make us happen In another life Oh Jenna why Oh Jenna why Oh Jenna why
7.
Gene Hackman 03:24
If you found yourself in hot pursuit You might call on Steve McQueen But Steve never chased an elevated train down So, I’d rather have Gene Or to listen in on conversations You might hire an entire surveillance team But for this particular intrusion I’d rather have Gene Gene Hackman Shines when they call action And it’s always a better movie When he’s on the screen If you wound up in a crisis of conscience On a U.S. nuclear submarine Some might side with Denzel Washington But I’d rather have Gene Gene Hackman Shines when they call action And it’s always a better movie When he’s on the screen Gene Hackman Keeps the film world turning And he should have received the Oscar For “Mississippi Burning” Oh sure there are plenty of other actors I admire I’ve spent enough cash to watch them on the silver screen So much so that I’d put ‘em all on my softball team But you know who I’d have batting cleanup Yeah, that would be Yeah, that would be Gene… If you wound up on a ship in peril On the unforgiving sea Leonardo couldn’t lead me to safety So I’d rather have Gene Gene Hackman Shines when they call action And it’s always a better movie When he’s on the screen Gene Hackman Shines when they call action And it’s always a better movie When he’s on the screen
8.
Just me and my little guy We’ve got a rainy day so let’s improvise And drop some tokens At some indoor canteen But there’s this feral boy He’s got his bully eyes set to seek-and-destroy He’s like a three-foot walking/talking Defective gene Uh oh, here he comes He’s as wrong as an improper noun Or a low-cut, shocking pink wedding gown I wonder just how many times That his folks have sent him up to his room ‘Cause I don’t think that’ll do So let’s put him back inside the womb Not quite sure what to say My little guy just wants to run and play He doesn’t understand the world yet And kids like that Uh oh, here he comes…again He’s as wrong as an improper noun Or a low-cut, shocking pink wedding gown I wonder just how many times That his folks have sent him up to his room ‘Cause I don’t think that’ll do So let’s put him back inside the womb Waiter, this one’s underdone Could you please return it to the oven And feel free to play with the recipe Just mix it up, Chef Boyardee Mm…mm… And make sure it’s done right Try taking out the spite The tot offensive’s on It’s like that Patrick Swayze flick “Red Dawn” My little guy’s too small for defense The bully gloats And so time to step in Now he’s the boy in the water, I’m the dorsal fin He’s gonna learn some brand new words now Hope he takes notes Look out, here I come Ruder than a showbiz mom I’m a first stall toilet seat cherry bomb If he touches my kid one more time He’ll be watching all of his best cartoons From the return-to-sender room So let’s put him back inside the… Let’s put him back inside the… Let’s put him back inside the womb
9.
You’re gone You’re never coming back But we still walk side by side Years on And you keep showing up to say Hello, how are you So what, just a dream I know you’re trying to show me something Get me there Get me there yesterday I’m gone You’ll never hear from me again I’m back to living Swan song An amputation years too late I’m tired of giving I don’t want to be with you But I wanna be the same place you are Get me there Get me there yesterday No more A self-inflicted wound That I keep to remind me I’ll never want to be with you But I’ll always wanna know where you are Get me there Get me there yesterday
10.
One night in June last May 
I met my special lady I told her she had lovely eyes She said I smelled like gravy And heretofore forevermore I pledge devotion to her No river high No mountain deep I’d crawl an ocean to her And here it becomes clear This unrequited something That I’m feeling Has got me reeling When she’s near She said I weren’t too bright I weren’t too literary So I took some cash to my bookstore And stole a dictionary I brought it home And wrote this poem With which I might impress her A rose is red A violet… Now I undress her And here it becomes clear This unrequited something That I’m feeling Has got me reeling When she’s near When she’s near Say what you want I just don’t care Call it a one-way street affair Hell, I’m just about But not quite yet Still half the way To almost barely there I’d like to tell you That this tale ends “ever after” Is it only just beginning Or all over but the laughter I saw her then But never again And I’m back here looking for her I know that word I’ve overheard It means that I adore her And here it becomes clear This unrequited something That I’m feeling Has got me reeling Got me mumblin’ Got me bumblin’ Got me stumblin’ Got me humblin’ When she’s near
11.
We talk Partly lonely Mostly needy Shoulder-seeking When we need One distraction Or some reaction I don’t know which And we’re here For better or weird We spill All our secrets Then retreat it Won’t repeat it Then we say One thing one day Forget the next day Memory cleared And we’re here For better or weird We want something just out of reach Someplace to run and just be Somewhere to stay disappeared We’ve moved on To silence Not a word Since I don’t care when Because we tried But we lost it Emotions frosted Warmth exhausted But we’re still here For better or weird We’re a drain on everything right On all that’s good in our lives I just wish we’d disappear But we’ll be here For better or weird
12.
All the hours I spend here In my head Imagining this house without you One big empty bed I stayed at home for all those years To bring you up I wouldn’t change a single thing Except maybe slow things up You don’t need me like you did But just enough And you make growing older much more fun Now you’re almost out the door And our time’s up No matter how tight I held you It was never close enough So the hour’s getting late And our time short You’re off to start a brand new life I’ll be here as before You don’t need me like you did But just enough And you make growing older much more fun

credits

released January 24, 2020

Produced by Chris Gefken, Ray Nissen, and Jim Higgins

JIM HIGGINS - lead & backing vocals, guitars, bass (8,11)
FRAN AZZARTO - drums (3)
MATT AZZARTO - backing vocals (1,8)
MARY ANN EMERSON - backing vocals (2,5)
CHRIS GEFKEN - bass (1,3,6,7,10), rhythm guitar (1), backing vocs (1)
PAUL MOSCHELLA - drums (2,4-11), percussion (8,10),
backing vocals (1,3,7,8,11)
RAY NISSEN - bass (2,4,5,9), keyboards (5,7), piano (4,7)
BOB PERRY - guitar solo, bridge/end chorus riffing (6)
JOHN REYNOLDS - guitar solo (11)
STEPHANIE SEYMOUR - backing vocals (2,5)
DAVE STENGEL - drums (1)

© 2020 All songs by James P. Higgins
All rights reserved

Orchestral arrangement (12) by Ray Nissen

Engineered and pre-mixed by Chris Gefken at
Think Tank Studio - Hoboken, NJ

Additional recording at:
Chrometop Studio - Ringwood, NJ
Mockingbird Music - Montclair, NJ
Wayne Manor - Wayne, NJ

Mixed and mastered by Scott Anthony at
Storybook Sound - Maplewood, NJ

Additional mix engineer: Max Solomon

Cover photo by Tedford Juachon
Photoshop layout by Sandra Nissen

About the Musicians:

YOURS TRULY (The Whatnots, Skanatra, Chris Butler, The Gefkens, Matt Madly, Bob Perry, solo) - This is my first album as a solo artist, and while it's my name on the record, it doesn't happen without the following:

SCOTT ANTHONY (The Shitbirds, Nu-Sonics, Fond Farewells, Rebecca Turner) - When Scott’s not busy being amazing, he spends his off-hours being awesome. He converted his basement into a world-class mixing and mastering studio (www.storybooksound.com) and artists far and wide have called on his considerable skills for years now. It’s one of my favorite rooms ever and I got to spend a lot of time there watching Scott work his magic. He is an expert at his craft, mad fun to hang with, and I could not be more honored or excited that this record wound up in his capable hands for mixing and mastering. We go back a long way. He is a delightful human being and I am so thankful to have worked with him once again. Scott turned me on to the famous Sloppy Joe’s served at the Town Hall Deli in South Orange, NJ. I’m a few pounds heavier now, but forever grateful. Hashtag YUM! He also teaches yoga classes because it’s just so him.

FRAN AZZARTO (The Fundamentals, The Gefkens, Skanatra, The Fave, Matt Madly) - Fran is a drummer. A first-rate drummer, at that. Behind the drum kit he is a show unto himself. Keith Moon, Ringo Starr, Stewart Copeland, Mick Fleetwood all wrapped up in one incredible drummer. It is a joy to watch him play and it’s nearly impossible not to get pumped up when he’s bashing away. He’s also one helluva frontman (see: Skanatra). Even after his work was done, Fran was a constant presence at the studio, chiming in with his expert knowledge on drum sounds/EQ and bringing the laughter. When Franny and I get together we immediately become those two cutups in the back of the class giggling our asses off. And I love him for it. He wears the snappiest hats and he always smells terrific.

MATT AZZARTO (The Fundamentals, The Gefkens, Frank Bango, Rocket, Skanatra, solo - aka Matt Madly) - Matt is a brilliant songwriter, and hands down one of my favorite songwriters ever. Time and time again he comes up with songs/riffs/hooks/lyrics/melodies that I really wish I could call my own. Need proof? Check out his newest release, “Restless/Hopeful” (mattmadly.bandcamp.com/album/restless-hopeful). To say he’s kept me on my musical toes over the years is an understatement. “Fathand” also spent a lot of time at the studio with us and his presence was always welcome. His enthusiasm was contagious and his input was invaluable. Matt has a son named Lennon, and that just warms my soul.

MARY ANN EMERSON - “Mae” is beholden to no band, but when called upon she will deliver the vocal goods each and every time. She has an angelic voice, a superior intellect, a wicked sense of humor, and will mix you any number of cocktails that you will remember for the rest of your life. Mae is one of the few women in my life who loves horror movies and that automatically puts her on Page One of my “Cool Book.”

CHRIS GEFKEN (The Gefkens, Skanatra, Matt Madly) - There is no one I would rather spend long, arduous hours in the studio with more than Gef, and no one I’d rather have steering the ship more than him. His producing and engineering skills are second to none. He’s great fun to collaborate with, he works his ass off, and he pulls no punches. When something sucks, he’ll tell you. When it’s great, he’ll tell you it sucks and get an even better take out of you. Gef and I spent a lot of hours in the studio together and it was never less than a hoot. No drama, no tension. Just hard work, a lot of fun, boatloads of laughter, and more than a few beverages. That’s the type of environment he creates and it makes the recording process so much more enjoyable. He’s also a ferocious bass player. The best I’ve ever played with. Gef prefers Jameson on the rocks, and when I saw that glass in his hand at the end of a long session, I know we’d put in good day’s work.

PAUL MOSCHELLA (The Whatnots, Supple, Frank Bango, Shelby, Chris Butler, Skanatra, Kate Jacobs, Matt Madly, Bob Perry) - In demand much? Countless artists have enlisted Mo and his mad skills behind the drum kit over the years, and with good reason: they know they’re getting the best. I’ve been playing with Mo for almost 30 years now and to this very day he never ceases to amaze me. And it’s not just his drumming. He’s also a phenomenal singer and always shows up with ideas I never would have dreamed of. He is my musical soul brother and I’m not half the musician or human without him. Yeah, brace yourselves, ‘cause I’m going there… He completes me. He is a cancer survivor, my personal hero, and we are all lucky to have him our lives. Mo is a Tennessee Titans fan and that’s just weird.

RAY NISSEN (Fear of Falling, Frank Bango, Big Happy Crowd, Skanatra, Kate Jacobs, Matt Madly, Bob Perry) - Ray is the consummate professional and a multi-talented musician (bass, guitar, keys). He’s also an ace producer, composer and arranger (soundcloud.com/ray-nissen). He has such a keen ear for producing and arranging it’s borderline frightening. Play him a demo for the first time and watch the wheels start turning. He played a huge role in getting these songs where they needed to be. He is this record’s George Martin, and I don’t say that lightly. Whether he played on a song or not, his fingerprints are all over this album. Plus, he just has this…vibe about him. When Ray is in the room, all is well. He’s also a wonderful chef and baker. I’ve been the lucky recipient of many of his culinary delights. Ray is so good in the kitchen I truly believe he could, in fact, beat Bobby Flay.

BOB PERRY (Winter Hours, Tabula Rasa, Edward Rogers, Matt Madly, Stephanie Seymour, solo) BP is one of my favorite guitarists ever. Tone, style, amazing fret work, tasty licks…thy name is BP. When I wrote “Oh Jenna Why?” I deliberately left a swath of musical real estate wide open for a rippin’ guitar solo. BP was my first and only call, and he delivered in spades. I played a lot of guitar on this record, but his contribution ranks right up there at the top. He also builds guitars from scratch and then plays the ever-loving shit out of them. And he’s one helluva songwriter, too. He released an album in March 2018 called “American Standardsville” and I can’t recommend it highly enough (bobperry.bandcamp.com/releases). BP’s skills don’t stop at songwriting and guitar playing/building either. I can tell you from first hand experience, he is a wizard at the BBQ grill.

JOHN REYNOLDS (The Goatmen, Every Damn Day, Mike Daly and the Planets) Johnny is a guitar ninja, and he’s my other favorite guitarist. When I asked him if he wanted to lay down the solo on “For Better or Weird,” his eyes lit up and he went right to work. And in no time at all he came back with my other favorite “guitar moment” on this record. It’s a blistering solo in Drop D tuning and oh-so Johnny. There is simply nothing you can throw at him that he won’t field like a Hall of Fame shortstop. He doesn’t write songs very often, which is a shame, because when he does, they’re bloody brilliant. He created a “Higgs Mix Tape” on his computer for me; its run-time is 3-days long and growing. Johnny’s talent and passion for music are matched only by his affinity for stank-nasty IPAs.

STEPHANIE SEYMOUR (The Aquanettas, Psychic Penguin, Birdy, solo) - Steph is kindness personified, and a fierce musical talent. Her new record, “There Are Birds,” is a masterpiece and a joy from beginning to end (www.ThereAreBirds.com). She started her record long after I started mine and finished it long before I finished mine. Kinda pisses me off, but it’s so damn good, I simply can’t complain. She really knocked it outta the park with this record. I leaned on Steph hard during this entire recording process as our projects were on a parallel trajectory, and she’s just such a kind and calming influence. Plus, she's much better at the business/promotion side of things than I am. Spend a few hours with Steph and you’ll go home with a smile on your face and a pocket-full of really cool crystals. Steph loves birds and birds love Steph. She can heal a wounded bird just by looking at it, and that’s not hyperbole.

DAVE STENGEL (Fear Of Falling, Gimme The Gun, Frank Bango, Valentine Smith, Big Happy Crowd, The Hangdogs, Skanatra, The Romance Commandos…pretty much everyone but the Beatles and Led Zeppelin). Dave is a thundering douchebag. The end.

About the Songs:

DRUNK AND WEEPY - This is the song that got me off my ass, on to a songwriting spree, and pretty much set the tone for this record. Per the title, I was in my cups just a bit and feeling nostalgic when I wrote this.

LAST BREATH - A push/pull, love affair/hate affair with the past and all it stirs up. For you gear heads, I used the DigiTech Mosaic 12-string emulator pedal for the main riff, played on a Rickenbacker 330. I’m a left-handed guitarist, so this was a much cheaper alternative to an actual lefty Rickenbacker 12-string guitar (the gold-standard of 12-string axes imo). Some day, tho…I’ll get me one of those.

UP YOUR TREE - Boo, anxiety! Yay, Xanax!

HOORAY FOR ME - Based on a real kid who lived across the street from and befriended my mother many years ago. At one point, he confessed to her that she was his only true friend. Broke my heart. An ode to the lonely, put-upon nerds in all of us…’cause we’ve all been there.

MY HAPPY WALL - Crippling insecurity and self-doubt. “Hooray For Me”…adult version. Tongue-in-cheek. I'm fine. Really.

OH JENNA WHY? - Had all the music in place before I ever wrote a word for this one. First attempt at the chorus came out “soooo gen-u-ine,” and that was awful. “So Genuine” became “Oh Genny Y”…as in Generation Y. Also awful, and not even MY generation. Then I stumbled on “Oh Jenna Why?” and everything clicked. More nostalgia, but at a breakneck pace.

GENE HACKMAN - I saw "The Poseidon Adventure" as a wee lad and was instantly enamored with Gene Hackman and his on-screen heroics. As a movie buff, I grew up with Gene Hackman movies. I grew older with Gene Hackman movies. Pretty hard not to since he was in just about every other one. My all-time favorite actor and, let’s be honest...who doesn’t love Gene Hackman?? Good guy, bad guy, comedy, action, drama? He does them all with aplomb. BTW - The “Crimson Tide” verse? Denzel was totally in the right, I know, but I still liked Hackman’s character’s by-the-book military rigidity. And rhyming Gene with submarine was a layup.

LET'S PUT HIM BACK INSIDE THE WOMB - A true story about my then-2-year-old son’s first encounter with a bully at a local Chuck E. Cheese’s, and how I, as a wet-behind-the-ears father, ultimately confronted the little shit. The full backstory is much longer, more detailed, pretty funny, and I’ll be happy to tell you the whole tale if ever our paths cross. Similar to “Jenna,” all of the music was in place before I ever committed a single word. I blurted out the title lyrics while walking around my basement and playing this song on my acoustic guitar. This happened several days before the “Great Chuck E. Cheese Scourge," so, at the time, I had no idea what to do with that bizarre phrase. And then that day unfolded, and as I drove home, the lyrics “let’s put him back inside the womb” made a whole lot more sense.

GET ME THERE YESTERDAY - Started out in one place, and then morphed into something else. A little vague and open to interpretation, but it’s about wanting answers or solace or both. Quickly.

UNREQUITED SOMETHING - A quasi-attempt at a contradictory poem in music form. I’d been listening to a lot of Johnny Cash when I wrote this. A love song w/o the word love (har har har!), narrated by a lovable dolt. The shortest song I’ve ever written.

FOR BETTER OR WEIRD - Toxic people, relationships, friendships. life stuff…and the inability to just say “fuck off” for good. Changed a few key pronouns because I ain’t been no saint either. Live and learn.

YOU MAKE GROWING OLDER MUCH MORE FUN - An eleventh-hour addition to this record. I was tasked by Gef and Ray to come up with one more song, a counterpart to the humorous father/son vibe of "Womb." My son is an only child. Not for lack of trying, but that’s just how it played out. He’s my beautiful boy…the kindest, sweetest person ever and I love him to death. I’m going to be an absolute mess the day he walks out the door, and Ray's orchestration nails that feeling perfectly.

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Jim Higgins Wayne, New Jersey

Hello and welcome! I'm Higgs. I'm predominantly right-handed, but I play guitar lefty. Weird, right?? I hope you like what you hear and I thank you so very much for stopping in!

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